Therapeutic Blogging

I used to brag about my job. I worked on sexy, powerful jet bombers, and I could tell my friend and family about my job and the airplane I worked on every day. I had most weekends off, and I had almost every holiday off. If I worked a weekend or holiday, I was compensated later for it. More importantly, my job made sense. Airplane flies a mission, I fix the airplane, and airplane flies the next mission. It was good job.

I don’t talk much about my current job. I’ll leave out the details, but it doesn’t really make any sense. My current position doesn’t have definable duties. Whatever I end up doing from day to day, it always involves sitting in front of computer. I have more email accounts than I care to mention, and I often feel like my full-time job is deleting email. So I can’t say my job is hard.

I was good at fixing airplanes. It was very satisfying job. Even when it was hard, I knew I could find all the answers in extensive technical manuals. Knowing how to find the answers was hard, but I was good at that to. I also did several different jobs that no one else wanted. I was resource advisor for a small squadron once. Best job I’ve had in the AF, most people thought it was a terrible job. I worked a mundane administrative job taking care of all those technical manuals; I even enjoyed that job. My job satisfaction was always high.

Then I joined the officer corps. I have had one satisfying job in 5 years. Unfortunately, I only did that job for 3 months during a deployment. And even then I had to work with the worst LtCol commander I’ve seen in the Air Force!

I really did think it would be different. In my current position, I deal with multiple, impossibly complex administrative duties. If I screw up one little detail, a group of TSgt (E-6) gleefully point out my mistake. I practically work for the TSgts in my section. I didn’t expect to work for TSgts as a Captain, and no, my boss won’t help me or get me a better job. Ironically, I’m one the better workers in my shop. I have become a master of Excel spreadsheets! I have automated many tasks, making all our jobs easier, faster and more accurate. I think I performed my duties well in Iraq.

But the people… Often, I hear senior leaders bragging about their great people making it all possible. I will not be doing that. Practically everyone I meet is spoiling for fight (with me). The second I offer a suggestion or disagree with something, I am practically attacked. If I don’t have my thoughts together, any input from me is vigorously attacked and put down. I don’t have a position of authority, so I have no one to back me up. I have no mentor or even close friend at work. I’m in a different unit from almost everyone I work with. I’m obviously excluded from their functions, and I’ve built little rapport with them. If I do come up with anything obviously helpful, other people quickly jump in to “help” and I get no credit for doing anything good. I have never received adequate feedback.

Finally, we come to my schedule. Normally, I work 2 on, 2 off, 12 hours per day. Since I have to be early to “set the example” I show up at about 6:35 AM, I try to leave as soon as turnover is done, but we’re usually not done till 7:00 PM at night. So I work about 12.5 hours. Right now, however, I’m in the middle of a 14(!) days straight. While in garrison (at home at my normal base), I have never worked more than 6 days straight in 18.5 years. You see, I like my time off. I work so I can have time off. So I can right clever blogs, play games, fish, birdwatch, and all the other great things to do in life. I will be working 2 on, 2 off for the foreseeable future!

Here comes something I would probably say whenever this kind of situation might arise. This is a bad time for me to working harder than I ever have. My kids need me. I may desire more free time for fun activities, but my kids need me. My wife needs me. Good thing I make pretty good money, my wife cannot work (if she wanted to) because my schedule is so unpredictable. I feel like Adam Sandler in Click, except I don’t have the choices. I cannot escape from situation for awhile. But this what is good about my job. It will be temporary. Sooner or later, they will move me to a different position. Either I will make it happen, or my boss will move for “developmental” reasons. You can’t let someone stay in one job too long in the military. There is plenty of reason for hope!