Optional Reading
Author's note: These are my thoughts on my trip to Germany, as much for me as they are for you. Enjoy, or not! You choose! I had a great time, and I wanted to get my thoughts down. Here go:
Trip Report: Planning conference in Kaiserslautern, Germany, April 2007
Back to it; I selected myself to attend a planning conference in Kaiserslautern, Germany. I have wanted to be stationed in Germany the whole time I’ve been in the Air Force. The people I’ve met who have been stationed in Germany, and they uniformly love it there. I had a great deal of trepidation about this trip. I was flying solo, picking up a rental car, and driving 80km to Ramstein AB. I was worried about the long, possibly crowded flight, the language barrier, and the whole foreign country thing. I didn’t have a normal preparation cycle; I didn’t spend enough time learning the language, and I just didn’t feel ready. Plus, I left my wife behind to deal with the Boy Scout Camping trip. Nevertheless, I proceeded with a great deal of optimism and excitement.
The military booked me on Lufthansa, Denver to Frankfurt; the staggeringly long flight duration was 9.5 hours. I had an aisle seat, and that is about the best thing I can say about a 9.5 hour flight. I sat next to a man from Turkmenistan (quick, where is Turkmenistan?!) He said his name was Sendar (I think). I tried to learn about his country, but it was difficult. Although he has just spent 18 months at language school at Lackland, we clearly came from totally different worlds. I also met a nice gentlemen on his way to Mumbai (used to be called Bombay). He was reading the World is Flat by Friedman; this was somewhat ironic since Friedman has many good things to say about the economic miracle taking place in India.
Anyway, my seat was way too small. Look, I’m not a great big guy, but I am a 6 footer. Six footers just don’t fit in coach seating. I absolutely could not sleep. When I put my feet under the seat, I touched the guy’s (from Czechoslovakia) feet in from of me. When I scooted down in my seat, my knees smashed against the seat. For NINE hours! As walked off the plane, I discovered the headrests were very adjustable, something that would have been nice to know at the beginning of the flight. Seriously, good food, great service, great inflight entertainment (Night at the Museum, plus TV, 2 other movies, and entertaining advisory videos); if I was 5 foot 6, I would have had a great flight! The discussion is relevant, because I would arrive in Deutschland and immediately need to be on my A game.
I wasn’t. I wasn’t on my A game; I wasn’t on my B game. I don’t think I was on my Z game. I slept about 1 hour 45 minutes the whole flight and arrived in Deutschland at 1100 in morning. I’m sorry I was so tired, as it severely limited my capability to enjoy the first impression of Germany. I sleep-walked through customs; stood in an endless line for the rental car. I asked for and received an upgrade to a crazy little Opal Astra (more to follow when I have Internet!). Then I walked out the airport and into a foreign country.
This surreal every time I do it, but this time was much, much worse. One minute you are firmly in the USA, and everything is understandable and predictable; the next minute you walk out the airport into a very different world. You might be thinking, but 4, you’ve driven in Doha in Qatar and Manama in Bahrain. For starters, I was by myself. I just felt a lot more alone for lack of better word. Anyway, as soon as I got on the airplane, I was practically in Germany. The announcements were in German, the warnings were in German. Maybe it’s that German sounds so close to English that I feel disoriented. The people also look just like me, but sound different. When I’m in an Arab country, there seems to more English!
So my first impression is just this: Germany is very, very German! So I get in my rental car, and it is complicated. It was more complicated than I would have imagined. The symbols for the controls were different from standard “American” controls. The books are all in German, the English translations are hard to find. So after trying for awhile just start the car, I finally get all adjusted and head out in the big European world. To say I drove tentatively would be an understatement. I couldn’t figure out how to read all the signs, and they are all in German (maybe you’re not surprised…).
So here is an interesting thing about road signs in Germany. Ausfarht means exit, thanks to spouse of 4 for figuring that out before I left. I was taking the A5 to the A67 to the A6 Autobahn for my journey to Ramstein. But the Autobahns are not labeled north or west; they are labeled by the next town. So quickly, tell me, how good is your knowledge of Germany cities? But at first I couldn’t even figure out how to follow the signs away from the airport to the Autobahn. I drove slowly until I figured it out.
So onto the famed German Autobahn. It is everything you might imagine. It is full of fine German automobiles driving incredibly fast. At first I drove about 130km an hour. Then I started going at 150km an hour, just to keep up with the slow traffic. Finally, I went tested my little Astra out, I went 180km an hour for few minutes, just to say I did it. Two days later, I would still have many questions about driving in Germany. One I haven’t figured out yet: I don’t know when the speed limits change. There are signs advising me to slow down, but then all of the sudden, Germans are flying by me at 200km an hour; they seem to have it figured out. The roads have many little parking areas, but they don’t have restrooms. They have exits like rest areas in the State, but they have big gas stations. Really though, if you’ve driven on the Interstate you can drive on the Autobahn, if know German, and you know the towns in Germany!
I nearly fell asleep a couple of times on the 120 km drive to Kaiserslautern. I never feel tired behind the wheel, but the flight had really taken its toll. I stopped at the parking areas a couple of time to relax and wake up a bit. I had the drive to Ramstein mapped out well, and I arrived without incident much sooner than I would have arrived had I been driving in the States! I checked in at the Ramstein Inns, and got into my room. I collapsed into my bed for a well deserved nap. In spite of my great desire to check out Germany, I absolutely had no choice but to submit to the jet lag.
Oh, by the way, Germany might be the most beautiful country side I’ve ever had the pleasure of driving through. Ever. Rich farmland with quaint (err, German) towns surrounded by low forest covered hills, almost mountains. It sort of reminded me of Montana, but nicer. I imagine that Vermont and New Hampshire might be similar. There are fields full of some mysterious yellow flowering plant (rape seed, I think we get cooking oil from it, thanks to Judy), and the hillsides have ribbons of yellow flowers running across them. Apparently, it has been unusually nice this spring, and the temperatures where in the low 80s. Bugs and birds where everywhere, but I couldn’t focus on birds while I was so low on sleep. The Germans seem to have figured out some secret to government and environmental management (maybe not, a friend told me Germany suffers 10% unemployment and negative population growth).
I slept fitfully, as I became acclimated to the new time zone. I was awake late Sunday, and up early. While flipping through the cable networks, I found what every guy wants to find on his TV, Boobies. Lots and lots of Boobies. Boobies that took up the entire screen. On my 27 inch TV, the nipples looked like giant pink mountains that took up half the screen. I am not exaggerating. You see, the naked girls were advertising cell phone video and pictures. Very nice, I guess if we live in German, we’ll have to figure out how to lock out those channels!
Any way, the Monday morning, my electric razor finally died. After overcoming that challenge, I headed for my boring conference. The trip was uneventful. The birds were catching my eye, but I couldn’t find the time to really dedicate to identifying them. There were many birds. This leads to an interesting dilemma, German culture or German birds. I’m interested in both about equally. I can’t really do justice to either with my limited time here. The birds are great, imagine starting out bird watching all over again in the states, but having experience and hard earned skill as your guide. You could find 20 new birds in a few minutes within a few blocks. I think I’ll probably do both.
I went to the BX (military shopping, Base eXchange) for lunch and new razor. The BX is awesome, it is certainly the best BX I’ve ever seen. It has many shops with lots of cool German trinkets. I will need to bring some home. I had a real German lunch, Taco Bell. I was still feeling pretty weak from trip, but Taco Bell and Diet Coke seemed to finally return me to normal. One other quick note, I’ve felt awkward looking at the birds. Our conference has some great habitat with some interesting birds, but I’m too embarrassed to look at them. Now that I’m feeling better, I’ll probably get over it!
Finally, my work over for the day, I changed, called the little woman, and headed for Kaiserslautern. Well, first I ran some errands and finally got some good looks at birds. More on those in a different, riveting post! Kaiserslautern is much bigger than I thought it was, I got lost several times, and failed to find a place I was brave enough to eat at. Again, nobody is catering to Americans, and there is no guarantee I will be able to order! I did find a marvelous cathedral (well several) and some ruins, I’m going back for another look, maybe tomorrow. The small towns outside big town like Kaiserslautern can only be described as absolutely charming. If had known any German, I would have been all over it. I ended up eating at an Italian place in the Officer Club Monday, it wasn’t great.
The second day, I didn’t have any big plans yet, but I ran into my Wing Commander from Lackland. He was here with an entourage, and he invited me to dinner with his “posse.” I enthusiastically agreed, and then tried really hard not make an ass of myself. The restaurant was on top of the hill in Landstul, there was an old castle at the top of the hill, and we enjoyed a marvelous dinner outside. Everybody told me the weather was unseasonable warm, I’m not complaining. I had Jaegerschnitel for the first time kind of, I mean, we make that at home all the time, but we don’t put a yummy mushroom sauce on it, and we definitely don’t call Jaegerschnitzil. It’s some kind of fried, breaded veal/pork thing. It was all goodness. The beer though, is truly outstanding. Germany is rightly famous for it; the beer in Germany is easily the best I’ve had. Maybe better then my vaunted Newcastle Brown Ale. Anyway, the gig was big fancy dinner, then I went home. I learned two things. One, I need to pay attention to my fellow officers, they were all dressed better than I was (it is seriously time for me to lose the running shoes!). Two, don’t engage in conversation of doctrinal (military strategy/planning type stuff) matters with the Wing Commander, just stick to the weather. I’m not sure how that when for me exactly, but I don’t think it went well!
Third day (Wednesday) I had found a lake south of Kaiserslautern. My intent was to check out the lake and then try the little suburb with the picturesque church and castle ruins behind later. I had so much fun in the woods are around the lake looking for birds and just generally being outside that I didn’t really finish up until the light was starting to fade. The strategically placed restaurant at the end of the lake, and I choose it for dinner. I resolved to return there someday with the little woman!
A word about German people. Granted, it was one of the nicest weeks of the spring, people were going to be outside. But I’ve never seen so many people outside, every where I went in Germany and Luxembourg. I’ll philosophize on this later, but the lake I found was people paddling those long, thin canoe things, the trails were full of people riding, running or walking. Oh, and I found many birds! Oh, and you don’t have to pay, practically all the wild land is open, indeed, yards are not considered strictly private party. Oh yes, much to say later…
On Thursday, I released myself from the planning conference early, and immediately headed for Heidelberg. This was the right decision. I learned my little car could go 205 Km/hr (123 mph, downhill). Driving 205 km/hr is actually more fun that sounds like it would be. Heidelberg is just awesome. Some of you have heard me bitching about various things over the past couple of years. It is official; I just don’t have anything to bitch about. When I get to go on trip like this conference, I truly have nothing to complain about! Heidelberg has magnificent old castle, and a great old town full of wonderful shops, and probably some history. I walked around, took a bunch of pictures. I tried to go very slow to take it all in. But I will have to go back; I’ll take the whole family. Just awesome. Again, Heidelberg was full, every where I looked, of people just out enjoying the day. It was business day, what is going on? Why do the Germans have such obviously good lives? Friday, conference end, thank goodness! On this day, I had the most time of my trip. So what would you do? Think about it for minute. You have an afternoon free, free transportation, and for all practical purposes, as much money as you need. You are in Germany, again, what do you do? I considered Stuttgart and Mercedes and Porsche museums. But that just seemed like another big city (maybe next time…). As I considered my options, I decided on the thing that would make everyone else jealous, but also had the highest degree of difficulty. I decided to go to Luxembourg via France.
France just isn’t as cool as Germany. The speed limit is a pedestrian 130 km/hr (lower most of the time). France has tolls on their roads. I know less French than I do German. But I have been to the Lorraine part of France. I saw lots of nuclear power plants, but okay, I still need to see Paris!
Luxembourg is a big, big city. I drove right into the middle of the city following signs for parking. Luxembourg is a trilingual state, German, French, and Flemish (or something). Notice none of those options are English. I missed the parking garages in the center part of town, but ended up parked right next to railroad tracks. I took a bunch of pictures for the Third and The Boy. I don’t really have the room or the words to adequately describe the city.
I went to National Museum of History and Art. It was truly a great museum. Except that every single sign was in two languages. Unfortunately, as I mentioned, I don’t really speak or read either French or German. Still there were some famous paintings in there, and a lot of stuff about some Mansfield guy that may have been important to Luxembourg history. I thought the pre-history stuff was pretty interesting even without being able to read a single word. I saw how those thatch houses you always see in the movies are made. Pretty interesting, the Bath of Venus and The Procession of Sacrament are on display at the museum. They are pretty famous paintings, I think. I mean, I don’t know ANYTHING about art history, so who knows.
I enjoyed a leisurely walk back to my car down the main drag of Luxemburg. I did some window shopping. I took some pictures of old fortifications. I even helped a young couple out and took their picture, and they took mine. I did some window shopping, and went into a great little toy store. Unfortunately, I constantly found customer service very lacking in regular stores in Europe. I couldn’t get help, and gave up after several minutes.
I went into a small grocery store. I love to go into grocery stores in foreign countries. There are several things I like to do to truly “see” a country, one is drive around the country side (check!), the other shop in the grocery store. I bought some chocolate and bread for dinner, said “merci” to the attendant and left for Ramstein!
It wasn’t easy. I didn’t have a detailed map of Luxemburg, and had to guess my way out of the city. I understood the geography and big roads I needed to find, but the signs were less than helpful. I ended up sitting in traffic for almost 30 minutes with no idea if I was on the right road. I trusted my instincts, stayed in the jam, and the road led directly to main road home. I didn’t drive home through France, but went immediately east toward Germany to get to the unrestricted/untolled roads in Germany more quickly. This was a wise move.
One thing that continually impressed me Germany was the factories. Germans work. Germans work in factories. There are large amounts of heavy industry all over Germany. Oh yeah, something else, France and Germany are using a lot of nuclear and wind power. Nuclear power has some well known drawbacks, but emits no green house gases. Wind turbines are unsightly and kill some wild life, but also emit no green house gases. Both of these countries don’t have their heads in the sand, they are dealing with global warming, and have been for a long time. I enjoyed the drive home immensely, and I got home in time to pack and get some sleep before my flight home the next day.
My drive to the airport was uneventful, except for this: the Frankfurt airport is the most difficult international airport I’ve traveled through (I’ve been to others, but only one in a foreign language, Bahrain, it was still much better and had numerous signs in English!). I couldn’t find the right rental car place, and again, the road signs were all in German… I first went to the wrong terminal, and then had to leave and try the other terminal. I did manage to get the car turned in, but it cost a lot of money. If you go to Europe and want to rent car, it is $500 per week for an economy car (insurance, taxes, and fees make up a ridiculous amount of the total). By the time I got to my gate, I was ready to get back to America. Back to my own car, back to street signs I understood, back to where people spoke “American.” But it was so awesome in Germany.
So lessons learned: I was totally surprised about the language thing. My Middle Eastern experiences led me to believe everybody knew enough English to help me get by. This is not the case in Europe. They have a great deal of pride in their own culture, and they don’t need speak American. Unlike other some other places I’ve been, the economic incentive to learn English isn’t as strong. Apparently their business model works without “rich” Americans. Good on them! But I am telling you, visiting a tri-lingual country like Luxemburg is quite a challenge, when you don’t speak any of the languages.
Again, I’ll more to say later, but Germany is an awesome place. It is the first country I’ve visited that could legitimately be said to be as good as our country. I’ve been to Britain, and it is also a great country. But I was extremely impressed by the efficiency of the place. All the stereotypes about Germans may be true; they seem to run a tight ship over there! Great country, you really must go visit it.