Sour Grapes

The Fourth is back! I sure did enjoy having people read and comment on my blog. It was a lot of fun. I hope I can recover my readers with time. Unfortunately, I picked up a few too many readers. Some of them started causing me trouble. Let's talk about them, now that we have some privacy.

I recently deployed to Iraq. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I won't say hated it. I had an important mission. I saw many great birds! But some of the people I worked with were complete assholes. My boss scheduled me to work every single day for 140 days straight. In the meantime, he changed the schedule to give the Army guys a day off every week. Very nice. Even worse, after I had an Op-ed piece published in the Washington Post, my Blog drew some unwanted attention. I pretty sure Maj Poptart made sure the boss was aware of my blog. The boss made me register my previous blog with MNC-I, a process I'm quite certain I'm the first to ever attempt. He also read my blog and checked it daily. This had an extremely chilling affect on my writing.

Fast forward to my return home. I posted some things, didn't get much attention. I figured the ghost was clear. I was wrong. I started posting some stuff about my more interesting experiences in Iraq. I got called by my squadron commander. My old boss in Iraq had been looking at my old blog and decided there was an operational security problem with my blog. He called my duty section in the states, and security here in Texas reviewed my old blog. So my boss is telling me it all looks okay, except maybe one entry. The entry in question talked about the distance from a fence to road. Believe me, to call their concerns overwrought would be an understatement.

So I've got my squadron commander calling me about my blog, then I get an email from someone I work with. In this email, he took issue with several things I wrote, and basically, felt he could judge and critique my writing. I invite friends and family to do that; I could care less what this guy has to say. All these things together ruined my blog, I killed the old one. I don't want my work to ever know about my blog!

But I still feel like I would like to have a blog. So I'm back. As for the issues with work, the short version is this. I signed agreements to get certain ...um... priviledges at work. These agreements state that I will submit any writing pertaining to my official duties to an office for review. Nothing in this blog will ever fit that bill!

So, let's get back to it!

Why my column in the Washington Post was a Bad Idea

The short answer is because my boss said so. I received messages from all over the world thanking me or complimenting me for my little foray into the Post. When I asked the public affairs people about it, they loved it. It was in the Stars and Stripes DoD paper in dining facility. So how did it all go so wrong?

I handed my boss a copy of the article the day it ran. I said, “Sir, I think it is my duty to inform you that I have a piece published today in the Washington Post.” I didn’t ask him for permission, because quite frankly, I don’t have to. It was an Op/Ed piece solely my own opinion. The first thing I got in trouble for was the fact that it said at the bottom, “The author, an Air Force Captain, is stationed in Iraq.” Did I use my status as a Captain to get published? No. Did the fact that I’m in the military affect the likelihood of it getting published? Absolutely. My boss believed I was in a small way representing my service. His opinion mattered. It was also contradicted by every single person I talked to including Public Affairs.

My Blog created the next problem for me. I read the policy long before about blogs, and had determined that I was totally okay. After all, I’m not ever going to post anything remotely specific on my blog. My whole name doesn’t appear in one place! There is a registration process, but as far as I could tell, my blog was completely outside the DoD network, so registration didn’t apply. I still attempted to follow some registration process. I might have been the first to attempt this for a personal blog not hosted on DoD network equipment.

Finally, my job is complicated. I don’t and won’t talk or write about it here or in any forum. Not your business! Not that exciting either. When I was learning about my job, they told me any writing about my job needed to be vetted and approved before publishing. I asked specifically, What about a blog about birds and other personal stuff? That falls outside the scope of the approval process. You can run it through us, but you don’t have to. Eventually, I sent my URL to my approval chain just to give them situational awareness.

But these arguments do not make a right. My boss thought it unprofessional and risky, and he was the one who mattered. But here is the whole point: I dreamed everyday of being good enough to be in the Washington Post. I read it everyday. I marvel at the well written prose, and intelligently designed arguments. I would write 8 hours a day, every day, if I thought I could get more into the pages of the Post. Some of the people I read there are kind of like heroes to me, even the ones I disagree with. So here is a major life triumph, and huge victory. The one person who can effectively ruin the whole thing does so to great effect. My dreams of writing will have to wait.

For what it worth, a couple of evening in row after I was published, I stopped just outside the palace where I worked. It was late as always, 1230 at night. I gazed at moon low over the water around the palace, and watched the wind lightly move the water. I enjoyed the reflection of the moon on the water, and I said to myself, “Damn, you really did it!” “Congratulations, John, I guess you really can do whatever you want in this world. Keep it up!”