Back and Fourth

Optional Reading

2007-05-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

Author's note: These are my thoughts on my trip to Germany, as much for me as they are for you. Enjoy, or not! You choose! I had a great time, and I wanted to get my thoughts down. Here go:

Trip Report: Planning conference in Kaiserslautern, Germany, April 2007

Back to it; I selected myself to attend a planning conference in Kaiserslautern, Germany. I have wanted to be stationed in Germany the whole time I’ve been in the Air Force. The people I’ve met who have been stationed in Germany, and they uniformly love it there. I had a great deal of trepidation about this trip. I was flying solo, picking up a rental car, and driving 80km to Ramstein AB. I was worried about the long, possibly crowded flight, the language barrier, and the whole foreign country thing. I didn’t have a normal preparation cycle; I didn’t spend enough time learning the language, and I just didn’t feel ready. Plus, I left my wife behind to deal with the Boy Scout Camping trip. Nevertheless, I proceeded with a great deal of optimism and excitement.

The military booked me on Lufthansa, Denver to Frankfurt; the staggeringly long flight duration was 9.5 hours. I had an aisle seat, and that is about the best thing I can say about a 9.5 hour flight. I sat next to a man from Turkmenistan (quick, where is Turkmenistan?!) He said his name was Sendar (I think). I tried to learn about his country, but it was difficult. Although he has just spent 18 months at language school at Lackland, we clearly came from totally different worlds. I also met a nice gentlemen on his way to Mumbai (used to be called Bombay). He was reading the World is Flat by Friedman; this was somewhat ironic since Friedman has many good things to say about the economic miracle taking place in India.

Anyway, my seat was way too small. Look, I’m not a great big guy, but I am a 6 footer. Six footers just don’t fit in coach seating. I absolutely could not sleep. When I put my feet under the seat, I touched the guy’s (from Czechoslovakia) feet in from of me. When I scooted down in my seat, my knees smashed against the seat. For NINE hours! As walked off the plane, I discovered the headrests were very adjustable, something that would have been nice to know at the beginning of the flight. Seriously, good food, great service, great inflight entertainment (Night at the Museum, plus TV, 2 other movies, and entertaining advisory videos); if I was 5 foot 6, I would have had a great flight! The discussion is relevant, because I would arrive in Deutschland and immediately need to be on my A game.

I wasn’t. I wasn’t on my A game; I wasn’t on my B game. I don’t think I was on my Z game. I slept about 1 hour 45 minutes the whole flight and arrived in Deutschland at 1100 in morning. I’m sorry I was so tired, as it severely limited my capability to enjoy the first impression of Germany. I sleep-walked through customs; stood in an endless line for the rental car. I asked for and received an upgrade to a crazy little Opal Astra (more to follow when I have Internet!). Then I walked out the airport and into a foreign country.

This surreal every time I do it, but this time was much, much worse. One minute you are firmly in the USA, and everything is understandable and predictable; the next minute you walk out the airport into a very different world. You might be thinking, but 4, you’ve driven in Doha in Qatar and Manama in Bahrain. For starters, I was by myself. I just felt a lot more alone for lack of better word. Anyway, as soon as I got on the airplane, I was practically in Germany. The announcements were in German, the warnings were in German. Maybe it’s that German sounds so close to English that I feel disoriented. The people also look just like me, but sound different. When I’m in an Arab country, there seems to more English!

So my first impression is just this: Germany is very, very German! So I get in my rental car, and it is complicated. It was more complicated than I would have imagined. The symbols for the controls were different from standard “American” controls. The books are all in German, the English translations are hard to find. So after trying for awhile just start the car, I finally get all adjusted and head out in the big European world. To say I drove tentatively would be an understatement. I couldn’t figure out how to read all the signs, and they are all in German (maybe you’re not surprised…).

So here is an interesting thing about road signs in Germany. Ausfarht means exit, thanks to spouse of 4 for figuring that out before I left. I was taking the A5 to the A67 to the A6 Autobahn for my journey to Ramstein. But the Autobahns are not labeled north or west; they are labeled by the next town. So quickly, tell me, how good is your knowledge of Germany cities? But at first I couldn’t even figure out how to follow the signs away from the airport to the Autobahn. I drove slowly until I figured it out.

So onto the famed German Autobahn. It is everything you might imagine. It is full of fine German automobiles driving incredibly fast. At first I drove about 130km an hour. Then I started going at 150km an hour, just to keep up with the slow traffic. Finally, I went tested my little Astra out, I went 180km an hour for few minutes, just to say I did it. Two days later, I would still have many questions about driving in Germany. One I haven’t figured out yet: I don’t know when the speed limits change. There are signs advising me to slow down, but then all of the sudden, Germans are flying by me at 200km an hour; they seem to have it figured out. The roads have many little parking areas, but they don’t have restrooms. They have exits like rest areas in the State, but they have big gas stations. Really though, if you’ve driven on the Interstate you can drive on the Autobahn, if know German, and you know the towns in Germany!

I nearly fell asleep a couple of times on the 120 km drive to Kaiserslautern. I never feel tired behind the wheel, but the flight had really taken its toll. I stopped at the parking areas a couple of time to relax and wake up a bit. I had the drive to Ramstein mapped out well, and I arrived without incident much sooner than I would have arrived had I been driving in the States! I checked in at the Ramstein Inns, and got into my room. I collapsed into my bed for a well deserved nap. In spite of my great desire to check out Germany, I absolutely had no choice but to submit to the jet lag.

Oh, by the way, Germany might be the most beautiful country side I’ve ever had the pleasure of driving through. Ever. Rich farmland with quaint (err, German) towns surrounded by low forest covered hills, almost mountains. It sort of reminded me of Montana, but nicer. I imagine that Vermont and New Hampshire might be similar. There are fields full of some mysterious yellow flowering plant (rape seed, I think we get cooking oil from it, thanks to Judy), and the hillsides have ribbons of yellow flowers running across them. Apparently, it has been unusually nice this spring, and the temperatures where in the low 80s. Bugs and birds where everywhere, but I couldn’t focus on birds while I was so low on sleep. The Germans seem to have figured out some secret to government and environmental management (maybe not, a friend told me Germany suffers 10% unemployment and negative population growth).

I slept fitfully, as I became acclimated to the new time zone. I was awake late Sunday, and up early. While flipping through the cable networks, I found what every guy wants to find on his TV, Boobies. Lots and lots of Boobies. Boobies that took up the entire screen. On my 27 inch TV, the nipples looked like giant pink mountains that took up half the screen. I am not exaggerating. You see, the naked girls were advertising cell phone video and pictures. Very nice, I guess if we live in German, we’ll have to figure out how to lock out those channels!

Any way, the Monday morning, my electric razor finally died. After overcoming that challenge, I headed for my boring conference. The trip was uneventful. The birds were catching my eye, but I couldn’t find the time to really dedicate to identifying them. There were many birds. This leads to an interesting dilemma, German culture or German birds. I’m interested in both about equally. I can’t really do justice to either with my limited time here. The birds are great, imagine starting out bird watching all over again in the states, but having experience and hard earned skill as your guide. You could find 20 new birds in a few minutes within a few blocks. I think I’ll probably do both.

I went to the BX (military shopping, Base eXchange) for lunch and new razor. The BX is awesome, it is certainly the best BX I’ve ever seen. It has many shops with lots of cool German trinkets. I will need to bring some home. I had a real German lunch, Taco Bell. I was still feeling pretty weak from trip, but Taco Bell and Diet Coke seemed to finally return me to normal. One other quick note, I’ve felt awkward looking at the birds. Our conference has some great habitat with some interesting birds, but I’m too embarrassed to look at them. Now that I’m feeling better, I’ll probably get over it!

Finally, my work over for the day, I changed, called the little woman, and headed for Kaiserslautern. Well, first I ran some errands and finally got some good looks at birds. More on those in a different, riveting post! Kaiserslautern is much bigger than I thought it was, I got lost several times, and failed to find a place I was brave enough to eat at. Again, nobody is catering to Americans, and there is no guarantee I will be able to order! I did find a marvelous cathedral (well several) and some ruins, I’m going back for another look, maybe tomorrow. The small towns outside big town like Kaiserslautern can only be described as absolutely charming. If had known any German, I would have been all over it. I ended up eating at an Italian place in the Officer Club Monday, it wasn’t great.

The second day, I didn’t have any big plans yet, but I ran into my Wing Commander from Lackland. He was here with an entourage, and he invited me to dinner with his “posse.” I enthusiastically agreed, and then tried really hard not make an ass of myself. The restaurant was on top of the hill in Landstul, there was an old castle at the top of the hill, and we enjoyed a marvelous dinner outside. Everybody told me the weather was unseasonable warm, I’m not complaining. I had Jaegerschnitel for the first time kind of, I mean, we make that at home all the time, but we don’t put a yummy mushroom sauce on it, and we definitely don’t call Jaegerschnitzil. It’s some kind of fried, breaded veal/pork thing. It was all goodness. The beer though, is truly outstanding. Germany is rightly famous for it; the beer in Germany is easily the best I’ve had. Maybe better then my vaunted Newcastle Brown Ale. Anyway, the gig was big fancy dinner, then I went home. I learned two things. One, I need to pay attention to my fellow officers, they were all dressed better than I was (it is seriously time for me to lose the running shoes!). Two, don’t engage in conversation of doctrinal (military strategy/planning type stuff) matters with the Wing Commander, just stick to the weather. I’m not sure how that when for me exactly, but I don’t think it went well!

Third day (Wednesday) I had found a lake south of Kaiserslautern. My intent was to check out the lake and then try the little suburb with the picturesque church and castle ruins behind later. I had so much fun in the woods are around the lake looking for birds and just generally being outside that I didn’t really finish up until the light was starting to fade. The strategically placed restaurant at the end of the lake, and I choose it for dinner. I resolved to return there someday with the little woman!

A word about German people. Granted, it was one of the nicest weeks of the spring, people were going to be outside. But I’ve never seen so many people outside, every where I went in Germany and Luxembourg. I’ll philosophize on this later, but the lake I found was people paddling those long, thin canoe things, the trails were full of people riding, running or walking. Oh, and I found many birds! Oh, and you don’t have to pay, practically all the wild land is open, indeed, yards are not considered strictly private party. Oh yes, much to say later…

On Thursday, I released myself from the planning conference early, and immediately headed for Heidelberg. This was the right decision. I learned my little car could go 205 Km/hr (123 mph, downhill). Driving 205 km/hr is actually more fun that sounds like it would be. Heidelberg is just awesome. Some of you have heard me bitching about various things over the past couple of years. It is official; I just don’t have anything to bitch about. When I get to go on trip like this conference, I truly have nothing to complain about! Heidelberg has magnificent old castle, and a great old town full of wonderful shops, and probably some history. I walked around, took a bunch of pictures. I tried to go very slow to take it all in. But I will have to go back; I’ll take the whole family. Just awesome. Again, Heidelberg was full, every where I looked, of people just out enjoying the day. It was business day, what is going on? Why do the Germans have such obviously good lives? Friday, conference end, thank goodness! On this day, I had the most time of my trip. So what would you do? Think about it for minute. You have an afternoon free, free transportation, and for all practical purposes, as much money as you need. You are in Germany, again, what do you do? I considered Stuttgart and Mercedes and Porsche museums. But that just seemed like another big city (maybe next time…). As I considered my options, I decided on the thing that would make everyone else jealous, but also had the highest degree of difficulty. I decided to go to Luxembourg via France.

France just isn’t as cool as Germany. The speed limit is a pedestrian 130 km/hr (lower most of the time). France has tolls on their roads. I know less French than I do German. But I have been to the Lorraine part of France. I saw lots of nuclear power plants, but okay, I still need to see Paris!

Luxembourg is a big, big city. I drove right into the middle of the city following signs for parking. Luxembourg is a trilingual state, German, French, and Flemish (or something). Notice none of those options are English. I missed the parking garages in the center part of town, but ended up parked right next to railroad tracks. I took a bunch of pictures for the Third and The Boy. I don’t really have the room or the words to adequately describe the city.

I went to National Museum of History and Art. It was truly a great museum. Except that every single sign was in two languages. Unfortunately, as I mentioned, I don’t really speak or read either French or German. Still there were some famous paintings in there, and a lot of stuff about some Mansfield guy that may have been important to Luxembourg history. I thought the pre-history stuff was pretty interesting even without being able to read a single word. I saw how those thatch houses you always see in the movies are made. Pretty interesting, the Bath of Venus and The Procession of Sacrament are on display at the museum. They are pretty famous paintings, I think. I mean, I don’t know ANYTHING about art history, so who knows.

The Cathedral of Notre Dame (no, not Notre Dame in France) was awesome. I’m not a very religious guy, but when I walked into that place, the air just went out me, and I gasped in awe. I had just visited the National Cathedral in DC a few months before, and to be honest, this one was so much more impressive. I can’t tell you why. It was a sense of history and the accessories/decorations were over the top. The alter area was so richly adorned; I could not believe my eyes. I don’t know what all the stuff was, but it was very cool. On this trip, I only went in this one cathedral/church, so it really stands out for me. I took lots of pictures, but they didn’t come out well, as the light wasn’t great.

I enjoyed a leisurely walk back to my car down the main drag of Luxemburg. I did some window shopping. I took some pictures of old fortifications. I even helped a young couple out and took their picture, and they took mine. I did some window shopping, and went into a great little toy store. Unfortunately, I constantly found customer service very lacking in regular stores in Europe. I couldn’t get help, and gave up after several minutes.

I went into a small grocery store. I love to go into grocery stores in foreign countries. There are several things I like to do to truly “see” a country, one is drive around the country side (check!), the other shop in the grocery store. I bought some chocolate and bread for dinner, said “merci” to the attendant and left for Ramstein!

It wasn’t easy. I didn’t have a detailed map of Luxemburg, and had to guess my way out of the city. I understood the geography and big roads I needed to find, but the signs were less than helpful. I ended up sitting in traffic for almost 30 minutes with no idea if I was on the right road. I trusted my instincts, stayed in the jam, and the road led directly to main road home. I didn’t drive home through France, but went immediately east toward Germany to get to the unrestricted/untolled roads in Germany more quickly. This was a wise move.

One thing that continually impressed me Germany was the factories. Germans work. Germans work in factories. There are large amounts of heavy industry all over Germany. Oh yeah, something else, France and Germany are using a lot of nuclear and wind power. Nuclear power has some well known drawbacks, but emits no green house gases. Wind turbines are unsightly and kill some wild life, but also emit no green house gases. Both of these countries don’t have their heads in the sand, they are dealing with global warming, and have been for a long time. I enjoyed the drive home immensely, and I got home in time to pack and get some sleep before my flight home the next day.

My drive to the airport was uneventful, except for this: the Frankfurt airport is the most difficult international airport I’ve traveled through (I’ve been to others, but only one in a foreign language, Bahrain, it was still much better and had numerous signs in English!). I couldn’t find the right rental car place, and again, the road signs were all in German… I first went to the wrong terminal, and then had to leave and try the other terminal. I did manage to get the car turned in, but it cost a lot of money. If you go to Europe and want to rent car, it is $500 per week for an economy car (insurance, taxes, and fees make up a ridiculous amount of the total). By the time I got to my gate, I was ready to get back to America. Back to my own car, back to street signs I understood, back to where people spoke “American.” But it was so awesome in Germany.

So lessons learned: I was totally surprised about the language thing. My Middle Eastern experiences led me to believe everybody knew enough English to help me get by. This is not the case in Europe. They have a great deal of pride in their own culture, and they don’t need speak American. Unlike other some other places I’ve been, the economic incentive to learn English isn’t as strong. Apparently their business model works without “rich” Americans. Good on them! But I am telling you, visiting a tri-lingual country like Luxemburg is quite a challenge, when you don’t speak any of the languages.

Again, I’ll more to say later, but Germany is an awesome place. It is the first country I’ve visited that could legitimately be said to be as good as our country. I’ve been to Britain, and it is also a great country. But I was extremely impressed by the efficiency of the place. All the stereotypes about Germans may be true; they seem to run a tight ship over there! Great country, you really must go visit it.

Update and a reading assignment

2007-05-17T16:11:00.000-07:00

Back in the saddle? I wouldn't count on it, but I thought I would include some brief bullets on what I've been up to, but more importantly, I want to share an article from Slate.com and talk about the source of the article.

The Update

So, I finally "finished" the main stem quest of the computer game, Oblivion. I haven't played more than one hour of video games since then (and that was like 4 months ago, very impressive, I hear my imaginary readers saying).

I've read some books. I finished Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the Unitied States." I have many thoughts on this book, but couldn't possibly include them in short a review. I'll say this, PHUSA is very rough read, only recommened for the bravest, most determined readers. I read both Eats, Shoots and Leaves and Talk to the Hand by the same author, Lynn Truss. ES&L was perhaps the articulate, well-engineered book I've ever read. A great read, I would recommend to everyone; Talk to the Hand, not so much. I also read a short book called Longitude. It was great history book about the making of the first very accurate watch for navigation; awesome read, highly recommended.

I actually started my professional military education (PME) correspondence course. I've taken 3 of 5 tests, and I'm playing hookie from studying for the fourth as I type this. Some of the reading is actually pretty interesting. I'm almost enjoying the course. It is required for my job and rank.

Of course, I attended a planning conference in Germany. It is a great story, and given sufficient time and desire, I may even tell you about, dear imaginary reader! Oh yeah, spouse of fourth and I took a bus tour of Italy. You are jealous. It was even better than you already think it could be! Well, maybe not, but it was pretty awesome.

So there is an update. I would love to write about some these things in detail, but I really do have to work on my "PME."

But before I go...

Generalship

You really must read this article on Slate.com: It's Patriotic To Criticize: How our generals got so mediocre. Kaplan is a hard hitter. I'm going to soft play this, but let me spell out my feelings on this topic as I explained to some folks at dinner party a few weeks ago. I've been serving a long time. I started serving and sought a commission before the current war in Iraq got started. To express my true feeling about this war, I would almost have to resign. To resign at this point of life would literally cost me thousands of dollars a month for the rest of my life in retirement pension.

The point I want to make here is that it would also cost some of these generals thousands of dollars a month as well. The difference: I wouldn't get a pension at all; a general who gave a honest and correct assessment of the situation in Iraq and was summarily fired would get his pension, but at a reduced grade, maybe 2 star general instead of 4 star general. A four-star's base pay is about $14,500 per month, so this would equate to $3,000 a month difference for a two-star general. Obviously the General would be giving up more in prestige and post-employment opportunities, but I think he would be okay. My family and I would be significantly worse off.

So the question is, why have so few generals stepped and told the story straight. The Slate.com article points us to this awesome piece by active-duty army LtCol Yingling, A Failure in Generalship. Americans should be reading this. It is important to understand the military organization, and the inherent problems with an organization as large as the Department of Defense.

But being a bit of a conspiracy theorist, I think Yingling is only getting part of the story. It is no secret that the military is heavily conservative, Republican. This demographic holds all the way up. I seriously believe many generals would've fallen on their proverbial swords under command of liberal president, but they are unwilling to damage their own party. Contempt of the Clinton Administration often open and obvious.

But in the end this theory doesn't really cover the whole story. Most generals are incredible people and patriots of extraordinary standing. They are probably are very concerned that our country not go through the whole Vietnam thing again, so they are attempting achieve our President's policies with the available tools at hand. They know how damaging the draft during Vietnam was for our country, and they are following the laws of land and staying out the policy decisions. We don't want to live in a country where the military doesn't follow the orders of the elected President, not one bit. The generals are upholding our constitution as best they can, and you can't ask for much more.

This brings us full circle of course. I've always said, and I think Yingling makes the same point. If the policy (war in Iraq) doesn't have the full support of American people, then ultimately the responsibility lies with the civilian leadership.

Boy, I can't make a point without rambling anymore... I may need to work on that. This is complicated issue though, I give myself a break.

Problem for the Democrats

2007-02-10T10:47:00.000-08:00

Editor's note: I could never get this one to flow. I have some ideas here, but I also have some very contradictory feeling on the subject. I think it comes here in my inability to "get it right."

Okay, this is a little like last decade’s news, I think 10 books about this have been written about this already. I’ve rediscovered the central problem with the Democrats. Let me set it up. I’m at work, working my ass off. This is generally unusual for me, but that’s the way it’s been lately. The TV is on, my subordinate, Snackwell, is surfing the Internet, watching the news, avoiding the tasks I’ve delegated to him, and generally pissing me off. I hope he isn’t reading!

In the news, Snackwell finds two articles of note. In the first, a student refuses to follow a teacher’s instructions, then a policeman’s instructions. The policeman grabs the 6 foot 1 inch, 275 pound student, the student punches the policeman. The policeman tasers the student. The end. Snackwell was indignant. He seemed to think the policeman didn’t have any right to touch the student. What? I think we should have tasered him (the student or Snackwell, whichever) twice.

Okay, next up, our hero was outraged by the Exxon Mobile’s record profits (39.5 BILLION). Fair enough, I’m outraged as well, but for different reasons. Smart business strategy would be to keep oil and gas prices even. Large swings in price remind us all of great risks over consumption of oil bring, and record profits almost beg changes in national policy. However, Snackwell was just pissed off about price gouging. This is valid complaint insofar as the market is not really very efficient (economics speak for properly self-adjusting). I could go on and on here, so let me get to the point.

I asked our newest political activist point blank, “Are you conservative Republican or a liberal Democrat?” I’m pretty well known to be quasi-liberal in my workplace, but he quickly distanced himself from any Democratic affiliation. What? Let me be clear, the oil companies are making record profits because Republican’s think it good for America. This is the Republican way! Crime and punishment are the Republican way! Can you be a Republican and be upset about students being tasered and record profits at Exxon?

So fellow Americans, this is problem. Our real-life example and member of the electorate is a Republican. He was offended at the idea of being a liberal. To further examine his demographics, he is a junior NCO, married with two kids. I doubt he owns stock. Yet, somehow this is the classic voter for the Republican Party. The last 6 years just might have been the best ever for the top 10% income earners in the history of our country. I am not exaggerating. Tax breaks for the super wealthy and obvious increases in income inequality. As our economy has recovered from the DotCom bubble, the economy has not raised all boat equally. The rich have benefited enormously from Bush Administration tax cuts and other policy decision, but what benefit have the so-called social conservatives received?

This was what all those books I mentioned in the first paragraph are all about. The Democrats would be very likely to enact laws and policies that would directly aid our real-life voter. Thanks to incredible message management, this voter quite literally goes directly against his own economic well-being to “vote Republican.” Our voter in this example would be likely to benefit from the Democrats welfare programs, union support, and belief in fair trade (not free trade).

In the end, it is precisely this voter and the millions just like him that make the elections close. We’re almost better off to have him. After all, about 70% of us would decide the remaining 30% of the rich folks could just cover all our heart’s desires. This would likely cause serious economic problems and more invasive, big government. We already a have enough government. On the other hand, Democrats need this guy’s vote. I happy to have competing ideas, but I need the right side to win!

24/7 News Cycle

2007-02-08T19:02:00.000-08:00

I have been telling you our 24 hour news cycle is completely out of control. This week has to be a turning point. John Stewart did a great job covering the astronaut story on the Daily Show tonight. Their headline was, “Accomplished women in Tragic Local Story”. As I’ve said, this is NOT news. Stewart and his writers totally get it. There is important news going on in the world. Can we somehow tune the 24/7 news cycle out? Can we turn it off?

As usual, I’m guilty of watching that which I deplore. When I checked my email this afternoon, I saw the headlines about Anna Nicole Smith. I immediately told S4 (spouse of four), and we proceeded to watch the coverage for an hour.

Watching the buffoons drool all over this story would be funny were the story not tragic. Those of you who know her, enjoy S4’s scathing wit. It was in full effect today. First, S4 met Rita Cosby, reporter from MSNBC. Rita has a strange voice for news TV personality. In short she sounds like a man. S4 asks, “Why is she on my TV?” Is this the best they could do? Is there a shortage? Look, I’m sure she is a nice Man-lady, but how did she get that job?

Then S4 hears someone compare Anna Nicole Smith to … wait for it… Princess Diana! It was difficult to hear what happened next on the TV as we were both busy yelling at the TV. S4 says, “This is why Al Qaeda wants us all to die.” Al Qaeda thinks we worship Paris/Britney/Anna Nicole. In reality, the overwhelming majority of Americans believe in exactly the same God as the Muslims (you could say we have different rules). But Al Qaeda is sitting in front satellite TV, smoking Hookah pipe, probably using Opium, treating women like absolute dirt, and condemning the moral depravity of their enemies in the West. Our coronation of Anna Nicole is their proof.

Look, the media, celebrities and politicians, they are the face of America our enemies see. We put them there. This is the free market, we understand this. Our opponents do not. Al Qaeda sees pictures of Britney Spears cooch and the late Anna Nicole’s tits pushed up around her throat, and they conclude we are all morally bankrupt. Then they see US servicemen killing Muslims. Every time we have an episode like this in our country, we lose. I guess what I’m saying, Al Qaeda hates us not for what we are, but what for they think we are. This is the real war. It is a war of perception, and we are losing. The media shares the blame.

Travel Log

2007-02-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

Hey gang! I recently completed a drive from San Antonio and Montgomery, Alabama. I kept it simple and stayed on the I-10 all the way to Mobile, Alabama. I followed I-65 straight into Montgomery. 860 miles. Let’s start with a product review. I bought a MP3 converter a few months ago; this wonderful little toy plugs right into my 1 Gigabyte MP3 player and transmits an FM signal. I then tune the radio to the signal, and have access to hours of music I want to listen to. I listened to NPR most of the day.

I generally enjoy driving; however, the first day was the rain the whole day. I stopped in Biloxi, because I couldn’t take one more mile of driving in the damn rain. Before I can move on to the good stuff, I have to mention Houston and Baton Rouge. I know many of you reading this (HA!) probably haven’t been down this I-10 corridor. Let me describe it. It is very crowded with big semi-trucks and goofy southerners. The southerners don’t seem to understand that, generally, the left lane is for passing. When not passing move to right, please. This sounds cliché to complain about, but seriously, Southerners have a problem with this. I-10 takes you through some interesting places and a couple truly great views. I-10 is almost completely lined with trees the whole way. Some people really love this, but I find it can be a bit monotonous (kind of like Nebraska, but without the trains), and it seriously inhibits your view.

Then there is Houston. I think it might be the 4th or 5th most populous city in our country. You never want to go there. I say this based completely on my experiences driving through it on I-10. Apparently, it has been under construction since the beginning of the Interstate Highway system. This makes me wonder about city management, I mean do people in the city of Houston care that driving through their city is stressful, time-wasting miserable experience. Seriously, does Houston care about their image? Based on five trips through the town on I-10, I never want to go there again.

Before we get to the next insult, we come to Louisiana and 18-mile long bridge over the swamp. Before the bridge, there are some farms next to the highway, but they aren’t quite like the field of sorghum or corn in Minnesota. The “farms” are shallow ponds for raising crawfish! I stopped at the Crawfish House in Breaux Bridge. It was some of the best Jambalaya I’ve had (no, I didn’t have crawfish). Anyway, the 18-mile bridge crosses the Atchafalaya Swamp. It’s miles of cypress/mangrove swamp. It just looks like an adventure waiting to happen. This is not where the Ivory Billed Woodpecker was allegedly found, but you can certainly imagine they could be in a place like that swamp. It is really something to see, 18 miles straight on a bridge over the Atchafalaya.

Next on our trip is Baton Rouge; I’ve heard on the radio that Baton Rouge has grown by more 75,000 people since Hurricane Katrina. Story reported that the infrastructure is ill-equipped for this huge influx of people. I hit Baton Rouge at rush hour; I can attest to accuracy of this story. The roads are clogged full of people. So again, Baton Rouge falls into the same category as Houston. A pain in the ass to drive and over crowded; not good, but at least Baton Rouge isn’t to blame. What is Houston’s excuse?

Anyway, I stopped for the night in Biloxi at a motel right across from the Beau Rivage. When I first arrived, long after dark, Biloxi appeared much as it did last time I was there. The Imperial Palace (my home for 4 months of training at Keesler) was standing strong, open for business. The Beau was beautifully landscaped, and it looked like it always did. It didn’t even look new; it just looked normal. It was full of people with more money than brains as always. A quick drive down Highway 90 and I knew something was different. There were no businesses besides casino’s to eat at. Morning brought the full truth to my eyes. The front two blocks facing the Gulf of Mexico have been wiped away. It is amazing and tragic to see with your own eyes. Biloxi was probably my favorite town in the Deep South, now it is a shell of its former self. I saw many signs declaring, “We will rebuild!” Why, so another hurricane can destroy it? Very sad.

Next on the trip is the bridge over the Pascagoula River. Again, my friends up north have probably never seen something quite like this. You drive over a long bridge over a huge salt marsh. This salt marsh/river delta is the brackish no-man’s land between the gulf and the river. I’m not sure what kind of fish or birds you could find in there, but it looks like it would fun to explore. It is awesome to see that much wild land unfold right in front of you. At one point the bridge pops up high to give you and excellent view of the whole delta, but I’ve been driving every single time I’ve been over it. There isn’t a way to stop and enjoy it. If you look at a state map of Mississippi, there is a lot park land and wild land all around southern Mississippi. To bad it is all in Mississippi. (long note: the Internet mapping tools do not show river names, there is a curiously large blank spot on the map where the river is though. There are little country road up to the river delta, then they just disappear, like someone just erased that part of the map.)

Our last interesting stop along the way is over another huge bridge over the confluence of the Mobile and Alabama rivers just north of Mobile, Alabama. There is a very impressive span over the main channel of the Mobile River (I think); except for one factory, the view is southern long-leaf pine trees as far as the eye can see in every direction except south. A quick look at the map reveals more civilization and development than meets the eye, but there is still a lot of wild land there too.

So aside from Houston, Baton Rouge, and retarded southern drivers, a drive through the Deep South is an engaging, interesting affair. A couple of additional observations, we’ve spent a seriously large amount of money on interstate highways through the south. Compare this stretch of I-10 to I-90 through South Dakota and Wyoming; I think we’ve probably spent more money on the bridge over the swamp in Louisiana, than on all of I-90 through Wyoming and South Dakota.

Another point, although I recognize that some habitats, especially more specialized habitats covering small areas, are very endangered, there is a whole bunch of wild places all over our country. I see it every time I hit the road. Yes, it is fragmented, and yes, monoculture agri-business and urban sprawl are gobbling up wild places at a terrifying pace. But I’m happy to report we still have a lot of wild spaces!

What NOT to read

2007-01-13T19:46:00.001-08:00

Do you know those kinds of people that subscribe to things like the Wall Street Journal, even though they have no good reason to get that kind of daily paper? I think people get periodicals and papers like that just to feel good about themselves. I could be wrong, but I recently got a trial subscription to the Economist. The Economist is definitely one of those kinds of subscriptions.

When I had time in the past, I would read articles on Economist.com. Make no mistake, if you want to know what is going on everywhere in the world, the Economist is the magazine for you. It makes American weekly magazines look like amateurs or posers. It is a different kind of publication, articles do not cite an author, all articles are by the anonymous staff. It has an obvious, pro-business, capitalist stance.

There is no way anyone I know could read even fraction of one issue, let alone 52 issues are year. The "Help Wanted" advertisements in the back give you a clue about the kind of people who read the Economist, jobs like Managing Partner KPMG in Paupa New Guinea, Director of Policy and Programmes for the International AIDS Society, some position working with the Democratic Republic of Timor-Leste, and some non-governmental agency appointments in Tanzania and Kenya just to name a few from the most current issue. I didn't qualify for any of them.

If you really wanted to learn about what is going in the world, this is place to find it. Their recent double-issue was full of great, feature length articles. There are great articles on the honor code of the Pashtun in Afghanistan, small town economic recovery in the US, the resurgence of Pentecostalism, an interesting piece about the Maldives tourist based economy (and social strife for the real residents of the Maldives), a bunch of stuff about the European Union's next attempt at a constitution, a report on Russian Airports (!), neuroscience and the anatomy of the brain (like 10 pages worth), an article titled the Chattering Classes about the enduring rules of verbal exchanges, a history of cured meat, an article on the philosophy of shopping, the weekly Buttonwood column, the etiquette of corruption, an international guide to baby-making, larger telescopes for astronomy, meteorites, and at least a dozen briefs on stuff that I would be interested in reading. This excludes a list of articles I would just skip! Instead, I'm going to watch football and write this blog. Lucky you.

I won't be continuing the Economist after the free trial expires. It cost over $100 a year, and I would feel very guilty not reading it every week. I read a couple reasonable monthly magazines. If I could sit at work and read the Economist, I would subscribe. If you have reason to be informed, I strongly recommend. The truth is the Brits have a much more global focus than us provincial Americans, but they've been doing the empire thing much longer.

Another Topic

I do read the Washington Post editorial page almost every single day. Today there was a very compelling Op-Ed by Patricia Bauer about children with Down Syndrome (she is mother of Down Syndrome child herself). She is raising an interesting issues about eugenics in our modern society. More and more, doctors are testing women for Down Syndrome in utero, and these fetuses are being aborted when they test positive. Ms. Bauer is basically saying, hey wait a minute, these people have value. You should read it. Then tell me what you think.

I think this might be a logic problem. Nobody is saying people with Down Syndrome have no value. Rather, people are making individual reproductive choices. From biological/genetic standpoint, this makes perfect sense; a child with Down Syndrome is likely to be reproductively unsuccessful. This is hardly a concern in our preachy, moralistic society. However, I'm pretty certain Down Syndrome children are much more demanding than "normal" (whatever that is) child. So our self-centered, egocentric society doesn't have time for these children; people have been given choice, and they are making their own choices. This shouldn't diminish the value of a Down's child, nor should anyone ever judge someone who decides to have one. Besides, I don't believe abortion is ever a great choice, the mother will be negatively affected whatever her choice. But I could be full shit. Either way, it is interesting problem our civilization should approach with a clear head and without histrionics.

Talk of the Town

2007-01-13T14:06:00.000-08:00

Some current events demand comment. The news has been full of them lately.

The Plan for Iraq and General Looney's Retirement Announcement

The President of our great country has unveiled his new plan for Iraq, and apparently the highest ranking general in Texas doesn't think much of it. Here is a link to the whole article, but General Looney, Commander Air Education and Training Command, peppered his blunt, colorful speech with expletives. He apparently said, "I'm not sure 20,000 will do anything. We need more than we have, that's for sure." Talking about some the administration's decisions early in the war, specifically debanding the Iraqi Army, "... political decision against military advice." He was very candid and didn't have many positive comments for the senior leadership of our country.

Thank you General Looney, the emperor really has no clothes. Everyone on Lackland is talking about this. The general consensus: enjoy your retirement General Looney. Whether or not anybody agrees with his comments in irrelevant, he'll be spending his days fishing and serving corporate boards very soon. By the way, everything General Looney says is exactly true.

I'm honestly surprised by this "surge" plan. When I served in Iraq last year, the whole military machine seemed to be waiting for the orders to begin the draw down in Iraq. When the chatter began after the November election, I couldn't believe my ears; the Republican's lost their ass, and decided the best course would be more troops? The real problem is the mission of the troops already in Iraq, and the inability of the Iraqi's to move against sectarian militia. Our troops are designed to kill people and break things. Their mission in Iraq against the insurgents is very difficult considering both cultural differences and tactics/resources available to our specific force structure. As for the Iraqi's, each side has reasons to keep fighting; both sides believe they can win. Additionally, different factions are vying for position when American forces do actually leave. Let's not add more inches of writing about the Iraqi War here, let move to more important issues.

My Neighbor is the Centerfold

What people in San Antonio are really talking about is the drill sergeant turned Playboy model. Yep, that's right, a drill instructor in charge of basic trainees brand new to the Air Force is gracing the pages of February's Playboy. Reporting in the local news says that she completely surprised to be in trouble with the Air Force. First let me say, I don't see a great big problem with her posing in Playboy, and normally, her position in the AF shouldn't exclude her posing for the magazine.

There are some problems with it though. First of all, she is drill sergeant. Her trainees probably read Playboy, and they would be likely to recognize her. It would be an unnecessary distraction. So she can't really do her regular job anymore. You can be discharged for inability to perform designated duties (even if she thinks she can, her supervisors may disagree). The military also requires notification before obtaining off-duty employment; this isn't exactly typical off-duty employment, but could be interpreting that way by her chain of command. Also a big problem for her: she gave Playboy pictures of herself on duty. I'm pretty sure she would need clearance to release those pictures; I'm positive she wouldn't get it. In short, I believe (I could be off base here) her specific duties will get her in trouble here.

Even if that didn't cause a problem, the very nature of military service makes this a bad idea. Our community is extremely tight knit; this is not the kind of thing that her peers are ever going to forget, and remember, her peers are an extremely conservative bunch. They will not approve. Spouse of Fourth best friend has met her, and she did have anything positive to say about her. Her kids go to my kids school; I've heard through vine that her 5th grader is mortified (but the kindergartner thinks it's pretty cool, his mom is famous, for 15 seconds). Unfortunately, the effects of the episode are likely to stick with her for more than her 15 seconds of fame.

I wish the AF would run the other way with this. Join the AF, all the women look like this. The Air Force won't. I'll give her this: I've seen the censored pictures, and she obviously has a great body. I also feel for a her little bit, after all, I was just in similar position myself. When I found out I was actually getting published in the Washington Post, I felt it was my duty let my boss know. Bosses don't like these kinds of surprises! I'm sure her boss was even more surprised than my boss!

Boise State and the Greatest Football Game Ever?

2007-01-11T17:54:00.000-08:00

Editor's Note (again): I've had this one ready to go for a while too. Normally, when I have been blogging, it is because I'm very busy. Very busy playing Oblivion or Civilization or PS2 games and having miniture bouts of self-loothing. It is different this time. We've been working on some projects in the house; we painted the kitchen, organized the attic, and generally took care of some serious business. I've also been reading and learning to play the guitar (! Yeah, I know). And my wife and I took a trip to DC. By the way, sometimes my writing is completely selfish. This football story is one of those times. We men watch a lot games, but unlike other men, I don't remember the details. I wanted to remember this one!

We lived in Idaho near Boise for five years, so I’ve been following the success of the Boise State football program for some time now. Steadily over last decade, Boise State has put together a good football program. They routinely win nearly every game in their season, but unfortunately for them, they are in the Western Athletic Conference. It really is a weak conference, and Boise State’s opponents have been pretty weak. Still, I have rooting for Boise State, and I don’t like it when the experts and pundits (read Jim Rome and the callers) degenerate Boise State because it is in Idaho. They couldn’t possibly compete with the “big” college teams. This lack of respect made the game very compelling. Would Boise State compete, or go down in flames?

So I was looking forward to the Fiesta Bowl this year. Boise State (Ranked 9th I think) needed a win over Okalahoma (7th, I think) for a perfect season. I hoped Boise State would at least play well, and not embarrass themselves. They did not embarrass themself

To really enjoy a football game, I think you really have to be rooting for one of the teams. Needless to say, I was rooting for Boise State. When Boise State jumped out to an early lead, I thought I might not even need to watch. Okalahoma came back, and I went to bed. Fortunately, I wasn’t feeling well, so I got back up in time for the second half. What great half of football. The beginning of the second half was interesting, some fun, exciting trick plays, then it settled down till the end game.

When Okalahoma tied the game, I figured the game was going to overtime. Then Boise State made that tragic mistake, the easy interception for an Okalahoma touchdown. My heart sunk, but I was still happy that Boise State played a great game. After all, there is no way they score with barely a minute left. Soon, Boise State is looking at 4th down and 18 yards to go. I’m barely watching.

How many times have we watched ball games end this way? It’s very predictable. The quarterback drops back throws a long bomb, maybe your team gets lucky, probably not. I thought I’d seen enough game endings that I’d seen it all. Nope. The long pass up the middle was exciting enough, but I didn’t see the Hook and Ladder coming. The receiver caught the ball and turned up field for the first down. Except right before the defenders could get to him, he flipped to another receiver running the opposite direction. I knew it was a touchdown the second I saw it. I was on my feet, trying not to wake up the whole house. With an extra point, the game was tied.

Overtime, college football does it better than the pros, the teams basically take turns trying to score. Okalahoma got the first chance, and scored on the first play of the overtime. My heart sinks again. Boise State gets their chance. Their drive takes a little longer, but they get into the endzone for a touchdown.

Fans want the game to be exciting, but they also want their teams to win. Coaches play the statistics. They kick the extra point and try again. Not Boise State, they went for two. I was stunned. They decided win or lose the game right there. Regardless of the result, I will love that decision. It was riveting to watch a team go against convention, and have the temerity to go for the win. Then the play was a shocking trick play (Statue of Liberty?), a pump fake screen to the right side, the quarterback tucked the ball and handed it behind his back to the running back, who ran the opposite way. One Sooner sniffed it out, but he was easily blocked. Boise State wins. They displayed the heart and skill to play with any team. I’m not even going to get into the playoff/bowl game situation…

Addendum, a few days later, the Seattle/Dallas game was almost as compelling (only because I live in Texas, and have claimed Seattle as my adopted home town). The Seahawks forced a fumble and safety in one of the most improbable plays I’ve ever seen. When the officials reviewed, they needed to look for something like four different things. Was it a catch? Did the ball bounce out? Was the person who tossed it back into his teammates in bounds (no)? Did the person who recovered the fumble get both feet in bounds? It was interesting. Then the Cowboys young quarterback led his team quickly down the field for a possible field goal win at the one yard line. He fumbled the snap. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone! It’s fun for your team to win, but you don’t to see anyone lose like that!

Sometimes, sports is worth watching!

Crash, Michael Richards and a police shooting in San Antonio

2007-01-11T17:31:00.000-08:00

Editor's Note: This sat on my desktop for a long time 7/8 finished. I couldn't get the end right without being preachy myself, and I'm still not, um, comfortable making a sweeping generalization about older people. Sort makes me a prejudice against older people, and you know, I'm getting to be one of those myself!

My first Netflix movie selection was Crash, last year’s academy award winner for best picture. Watching award winning movies is one of thing you do to tell yourself not a simpleton. You know, you can talk about watching a movie like that to feel like you’re in the sophisticated crowd. Unfortunately, chances are, most of your friends are busy watching Duece Bigalow movies, and don’t know about Academy awards. Anyway, after I watched (actually, during) Crash, I said, real people just aren’t racist like that anymore. Before you protest, hear me out. In my rose-colored world, racism really is highly unusual, so I keep hoping.

One of the things I love about the military; racism is seriously frowned upon and there are fairly equal opportunities for all races. We attend yearly training. More importantly, I’ve never heard a senior military leader say anything remotely racist. It doesn’t happen. Racist comments or behavior can end the career of the highest general down to the newest Airman. Sure, statistically, our promotion rates may have some discrepancies, and I’m not sure all races are equally represented in all positions (read fighter pilots, the only position that counts). But as an organization, prejudice and racism just aren’t part of service. Serving next to people of all races sort of dampens the fertile breeding ground of racism by replacing ignorance with experience and wisdom.

Some other reasons for my rose-colored view of racism in America have to do with living in San Antonio. In San Antonio, white people are out-numbered by the “minority” Hispanic population. If you started spouting racist epithets about Hispanics, you would offend someone pretty damn fast. Chances are, even if you are talking to an obviously “white” person, they could be married to a Hispanic person, or they work for one. Either way, it’s pointless, ignorant behavior. I just don’t see race. Like the man said, I prefer to judge people by the content of their character. While people certainly fit stereo types (I’m white and nerdy…), you can’t know anything about them until you meet them. Even more evidence of the folly of prejudice, genetic studies have show greater variability within races than between normalized, averaged genetic differences between the so-called races. Finally, one more thing, I’ve been around the Deep South a little, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi . I’m sure the old racism isn’t dead, but I’ve seen many mixed race couples greeted warmly by everyone else in the community. Nobody gives it a second thought anymore; it’s just a part of life. In my world, racism seems like dying issue.

So, this was my thesis, this old-school racism is just hold-out from the baby boomer generation. In other words, you have to be over the age of about 38-45 to spout stupid things about Jews like Mel Gibson or even stupider things at comedy clubs like Kramer. Younger people just don’t even think that way. Indeed, Kramer’s little episode was a step in bursting this little bubble of mine. He falls safely in that too old to really get it block. Of course, these generalizations can quickly lead you down the wrong road. Look all I’m really saying is that the younger generation isn’t going to have the same hang-ups. They were raised in a different environment.

Then I read a story that happened right here in San Antonio. Some policeman shot a man (black) because he “had something shiny in hands.” Apparently, there was a crime reported earlier in the evening, and this gentleman “matched” the description. I say matched, because he was black, close enough for the San Antonio Police, I guess. Look I know these guys have a tough job, but seriously, we don’t have many “black” gangs here in Texas, most of the gangsters here are Hispanic.

Then I watched Crash. Crash raises some excellent question about race I don’t disagree with. Prejudice is almost the natural state of human behavior. While Crash points our lingering prejudices, what was life like in pre-history? What are other countries and cultures like? I suspect that as a group, they are much more racist, prejudiced and small minded than most Americans (there I go again, get out your brooms for my generalizations). I really want Crash to be a caricature of our world, a typical preachy Hollywood version of America. Is it close to caricature or not? I guess I don’t know.

But I do I know love Netflix. Check out my Queue in the links.

Random Hits

2006-12-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

Surely, you already have Netflix. I won't waste too much time telling you what is, but we recently joined. I already love it! I love movies, I don't really care for regular TV, there are very few "must see TV" shows for me. I hate watching movies on TV. I don't need violent scenes cleaned up. A booby here there isn't going to kill (offend) me, quite to contrary, I rather enjoy a booby on my TV once in awhile (stay with me). "Naughty" words don't hurt my ears. Like everyone else on earth, I don't care much for most commercials.

We have some fancy digital cable. I've only watched 3 movies from Netflix, but I'm ready to get rid of the expensive cable. Until significant improvements, we won't be watching pay-per-view movies. Netflix has 65,000 movies for my Queue.

Oh, the Queue. I've shared mine with you. I'm not bragging about it, I just love my queue. Ironically, I haven't watched any great movies from Netflix. Almost every movie we've gotten from Netflix so far has been average or worse: Capote, Lake House, The Break-Up and Crash. Crash was the best of the bunch. I tried to write about it in my blog, but got a little jumbled up. I'll try later.

Music

I know this sounds odd, but I've been listening to Justin Timberlake lately. I'm surprised myself, but it's amazing to see a boy-band guy make good. Usually those guys flame into obscurity, but Mr. Timberlake's new offering is smart and sexy. Dude can dance, and he manages to make that falsetto work.

Ramblin' Jenn posted some blasphamy about in Christina Aguilera. Just my opinion, but Ms. Aguilera's got the best pipes in popular music today. Also just my opinion, she is easily the most beautiful female celebrity in the world. Love her music, love her pictures in GQ!

Confederacy of Dunces again!

Some of you may recall my review of the Pulizter Prize winning book a few months ago. I did not recommend it. I would rather read the Other Side of Mountain about Afghan Guerrilla tactics than read C of D. I seriously didn't every imagine I would think about C of D again. Then I read about making into a movie on Slate.com (click link to read article). First, why someone would make a movie about this bizarre story is beyond me. Granted, I totaly didn't get the book, but I don't think many American's would. I'm also pretty sure it won't translate well to film. One the other hand, the book is unique, and I did manage to finish it. Maybe you'll all get to se the movie at the theater coming soon.

Nope, she doesn’t have any decency

2006-12-09T12:21:00.000-08:00

Well, if you haven’t seen them, I feel obligated to link them for you. Because apparently, Britney Spears (mother of two) wants everybody to know she has a vagina. Good for her. I had already guessed she had a vagina by the news reports about the birth of her children. I don’t actually care, and I don’t understand how her children (or her vagina) are news, but this kind of reporting obviously makes money, so who am I to question.

Except, at what point in our society do we enforce some standard of decency, decorum or shame. Civilized society is all about standards; standards are what makes it civilization. Britney has violated all these standards, as far as I can tell. Granted, in our highly sexualized world, wearing a short skirt and riding au natural is not unheard of. It happens. I’ve never seen it personally, but it happens.

When it does happen, normal people talk about it. It is scandalous. There is murmuring disapproval. The general consensus: that person must be a slut. The only time I’ve seen women dressed in short skirts with no underwear is at strip clubs. It sort makes sense for the stripper; she’s going to be naked soon anyway. I’ve also seen a funny web-video of the prostitute walking the streets with barely a flap of a skirt not really covering her enormous ass. This is the sort of company Britney keeps.

Britney, of course, calculated this um… exposure to the smallest detail. The goal is maximum pubic ... oops publicity during the run up to her next release. New stories and controversy keep her in the news and likely have a direct, positive impact on her earnings. Britney and Paris both make me long for the good ole days of black-listing. Black-listing still happens, but unfortunately; I don’t think that will happen to them.

I guess I must state clearly, I believe it is no accident we’ve all seen Britney’s private parts (I’m so thrilled by the way; I just can’t get over it. BRITNEY has a vagina! Amazing! Shaved too!) So this is shameless, self-provoked grab for attention. Can’t there be some rule like: You’re obviously a slutty, bimbo; you are hereby banned from any media coverage forever.

Something needs to change. I don’t know what, and I don’t know how. Seriously, Britney, have you no shame? Have you no decency? In spite of the numerous links on this page, we don’t want to see that! Or maybe we do...

Anyway, one other note, how exactly does that kind of outfit “work?” I mean every time Paris or Britney sits down, their business is right on the barstool. Gross. Gross, because Britney and Paris don’t know what was on that bar stool. After they leave, everyone else does know what was on the bar stool! Snail tracks, ewww…

More hints the Army is broken

2006-12-04T18:39:00.000-08:00

If you listened to NPR on 4 December, you're going to know all about this. There was an excellent story about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Many troops perform honorably in Iraq, but start having problems when they get home. The report was tragic and infuriating. These honorable soldiers are being cut loose for failing to meet behavior standards. As they spiral downward, they sometimes become violent or start using drugs. According to the report, they often attempt to get help from the bureaucratic Army medical system. Troops reporting these symptoms are then shunned and punished for seeking treatment.

As infuriating as the report was, I wasn't surprised. After all, there is a natural tension here. Many of the troops had reenlisted and were starting their career in the Army. Supervisors and leaders need combat ready troops. The Army needs tough troops who can follow orders to kill. The report featured several Sergeant supervisors who admitted to shunning troops with PTSD symptoms. They felt many of the other troops had seen the same things, and that these troops were faking it to avoid repeat tours of Iraq. Supervisor felt the troops need to "buck up." Must be Army lingo.

The reporter tried to imply the Army was systematically drumming out these young troops to avoid paying expensive medical disability. I'm not into conspiracy. This is just the culture of the army. The Army uniformly treats its people like shit. It is the Army way. I've seen it first hand. The Army treated me like shit during my tour with them. So this is just the culture. Buck up. The Army supervisor interviewed made a good point. He said (roughly), "Hey, I've got put my life in these guy's hands. I have to have faith in them. It's hard to have faith in someone snorting coke or smoking dope." Fair enough.

Except, these were normal good troops before they completed their tour in Iraq. The people they interviewed described graphic scenes of carnage I was surprised to hear on the radio. Like the movies, except for real. They served their country, and we all owe them something for that. More specifically, the Army owes them something for that. I get it; they are probably not cut out to serve. When someone shows symptoms of PTSD, they could be discharged for it, but given disability. Sorry, but if the Army breaks it; they get to pay for it.

Therapeutic Blogging

2006-12-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

I used to brag about my job. I worked on sexy, powerful jet bombers, and I could tell my friend and family about my job and the airplane I worked on every day. I had most weekends off, and I had almost every holiday off. If I worked a weekend or holiday, I was compensated later for it. More importantly, my job made sense. Airplane flies a mission, I fix the airplane, and airplane flies the next mission. It was good job.

I don’t talk much about my current job. I’ll leave out the details, but it doesn’t really make any sense. My current position doesn’t have definable duties. Whatever I end up doing from day to day, it always involves sitting in front of computer. I have more email accounts than I care to mention, and I often feel like my full-time job is deleting email. So I can’t say my job is hard.

I was good at fixing airplanes. It was very satisfying job. Even when it was hard, I knew I could find all the answers in extensive technical manuals. Knowing how to find the answers was hard, but I was good at that to. I also did several different jobs that no one else wanted. I was resource advisor for a small squadron once. Best job I’ve had in the AF, most people thought it was a terrible job. I worked a mundane administrative job taking care of all those technical manuals; I even enjoyed that job. My job satisfaction was always high.

Then I joined the officer corps. I have had one satisfying job in 5 years. Unfortunately, I only did that job for 3 months during a deployment. And even then I had to work with the worst LtCol commander I’ve seen in the Air Force!

I really did think it would be different. In my current position, I deal with multiple, impossibly complex administrative duties. If I screw up one little detail, a group of TSgt (E-6) gleefully point out my mistake. I practically work for the TSgts in my section. I didn’t expect to work for TSgts as a Captain, and no, my boss won’t help me or get me a better job. Ironically, I’m one the better workers in my shop. I have become a master of Excel spreadsheets! I have automated many tasks, making all our jobs easier, faster and more accurate. I think I performed my duties well in Iraq.

But the people… Often, I hear senior leaders bragging about their great people making it all possible. I will not be doing that. Practically everyone I meet is spoiling for fight (with me). The second I offer a suggestion or disagree with something, I am practically attacked. If I don’t have my thoughts together, any input from me is vigorously attacked and put down. I don’t have a position of authority, so I have no one to back me up. I have no mentor or even close friend at work. I’m in a different unit from almost everyone I work with. I’m obviously excluded from their functions, and I’ve built little rapport with them. If I do come up with anything obviously helpful, other people quickly jump in to “help” and I get no credit for doing anything good. I have never received adequate feedback.

Finally, we come to my schedule. Normally, I work 2 on, 2 off, 12 hours per day. Since I have to be early to “set the example” I show up at about 6:35 AM, I try to leave as soon as turnover is done, but we’re usually not done till 7:00 PM at night. So I work about 12.5 hours. Right now, however, I’m in the middle of a 14(!) days straight. While in garrison (at home at my normal base), I have never worked more than 6 days straight in 18.5 years. You see, I like my time off. I work so I can have time off. So I can right clever blogs, play games, fish, birdwatch, and all the other great things to do in life. I will be working 2 on, 2 off for the foreseeable future!

Here comes something I would probably say whenever this kind of situation might arise. This is a bad time for me to working harder than I ever have. My kids need me. I may desire more free time for fun activities, but my kids need me. My wife needs me. Good thing I make pretty good money, my wife cannot work (if she wanted to) because my schedule is so unpredictable. I feel like Adam Sandler in Click, except I don’t have the choices. I cannot escape from situation for awhile. But this what is good about my job. It will be temporary. Sooner or later, they will move me to a different position. Either I will make it happen, or my boss will move for “developmental” reasons. You can’t let someone stay in one job too long in the military. There is plenty of reason for hope!

Sour Grapes

2006-11-28T20:07:00.000-08:00

The Fourth is back! I sure did enjoy having people read and comment on my blog. It was a lot of fun. I hope I can recover my readers with time. Unfortunately, I picked up a few too many readers. Some of them started causing me trouble. Let's talk about them, now that we have some privacy.

I recently deployed to Iraq. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I won't say hated it. I had an important mission. I saw many great birds! But some of the people I worked with were complete assholes. My boss scheduled me to work every single day for 140 days straight. In the meantime, he changed the schedule to give the Army guys a day off every week. Very nice. Even worse, after I had an Op-ed piece published in the Washington Post, my Blog drew some unwanted attention. I pretty sure Maj Poptart made sure the boss was aware of my blog. The boss made me register my previous blog with MNC-I, a process I'm quite certain I'm the first to ever attempt. He also read my blog and checked it daily. This had an extremely chilling affect on my writing.

Fast forward to my return home. I posted some things, didn't get much attention. I figured the ghost was clear. I was wrong. I started posting some stuff about my more interesting experiences in Iraq. I got called by my squadron commander. My old boss in Iraq had been looking at my old blog and decided there was an operational security problem with my blog. He called my duty section in the states, and security here in Texas reviewed my old blog. So my boss is telling me it all looks okay, except maybe one entry. The entry in question talked about the distance from a fence to road. Believe me, to call their concerns overwrought would be an understatement.

So I've got my squadron commander calling me about my blog, then I get an email from someone I work with. In this email, he took issue with several things I wrote, and basically, felt he could judge and critique my writing. I invite friends and family to do that; I could care less what this guy has to say. All these things together ruined my blog, I killed the old one. I don't want my work to ever know about my blog!

But I still feel like I would like to have a blog. So I'm back. As for the issues with work, the short version is this. I signed agreements to get certain ...um... priviledges at work. These agreements state that I will submit any writing pertaining to my official duties to an office for review. Nothing in this blog will ever fit that bill!

So, let's get back to it!

Why my column in the Washington Post was a Bad Idea

2006-11-28T16:48:00.000-08:00

The short answer is because my boss said so. I received messages from all over the world thanking me or complimenting me for my little foray into the Post. When I asked the public affairs people about it, they loved it. It was in the Stars and Stripes DoD paper in dining facility. So how did it all go so wrong?

I handed my boss a copy of the article the day it ran. I said, “Sir, I think it is my duty to inform you that I have a piece published today in the Washington Post.” I didn’t ask him for permission, because quite frankly, I don’t have to. It was an Op/Ed piece solely my own opinion. The first thing I got in trouble for was the fact that it said at the bottom, “The author, an Air Force Captain, is stationed in Iraq.” Did I use my status as a Captain to get published? No. Did the fact that I’m in the military affect the likelihood of it getting published? Absolutely. My boss believed I was in a small way representing my service. His opinion mattered. It was also contradicted by every single person I talked to including Public Affairs.

My Blog created the next problem for me. I read the policy long before about blogs, and had determined that I was totally okay. After all, I’m not ever going to post anything remotely specific on my blog. My whole name doesn’t appear in one place! There is a registration process, but as far as I could tell, my blog was completely outside the DoD network, so registration didn’t apply. I still attempted to follow some registration process. I might have been the first to attempt this for a personal blog not hosted on DoD network equipment.

Finally, my job is complicated. I don’t and won’t talk or write about it here or in any forum. Not your business! Not that exciting either. When I was learning about my job, they told me any writing about my job needed to be vetted and approved before publishing. I asked specifically, What about a blog about birds and other personal stuff? That falls outside the scope of the approval process. You can run it through us, but you don’t have to. Eventually, I sent my URL to my approval chain just to give them situational awareness.

But these arguments do not make a right. My boss thought it unprofessional and risky, and he was the one who mattered. But here is the whole point: I dreamed everyday of being good enough to be in the Washington Post. I read it everyday. I marvel at the well written prose, and intelligently designed arguments. I would write 8 hours a day, every day, if I thought I could get more into the pages of the Post. Some of the people I read there are kind of like heroes to me, even the ones I disagree with. So here is a major life triumph, and huge victory. The one person who can effectively ruin the whole thing does so to great effect. My dreams of writing will have to wait.

For what it worth, a couple of evening in row after I was published, I stopped just outside the palace where I worked. It was late as always, 1230 at night. I gazed at moon low over the water around the palace, and watched the wind lightly move the water. I enjoyed the reflection of the moon on the water, and I said to myself, “Damn, you really did it!” “Congratulations, John, I guess you really can do whatever you want in this world. Keep it up!”

2006-11-28T13:09:00.000-08:00